Thursday, January 9, 2014

A Mostly Internal Monologue

For no apparent reason, the past couple of days my commute home has taken a strange amount of time

At the beginning of the week, when the temps were in the "holy crap" cold range and schools were closed, there was basically no one on the roads. I was able to get home in about 25 minutes - even with driving through downtown.

Yesterday, with everyone on the roads for the first time in a while (to some degree not since before Christmas), it took me about an hour to get home. On perfectly clear roads. With no accidents. About 30 minutes of that was spent driving - or sitting - and waiting for the lights to change in the middle of downtown.

Today, when I was worried that I might again be entering into that weird molasses-in-January speed zone, I started to notice what I was thinking. It went something like this:

No. I'm not pulling onto the tracks. No. I don't care how close you get to my bumper. I'm not pulling onto the tracks. Why is he doing that? Why would you pull onto the tracks on a red light? 

That guy looks like he's in pain. I wonder if he realizes the faces he makes while running on that treadmill. Is he watching TV? Or is he staring out here at us? 

Don't turn. Don't turn. Don't. Don't. Don't turn into that lane, you'll fill the lane and we won't be able to pull forward. Don't turn. Don't... Holy cow - Who in the world turns left in the the 3rd lane from the middle lane? 

No. Ma. Dy. Kinda like Hot 'L' Baltimore, only different. The NO MA DY Inn.

Go. Go. Go. GO. GO GO GO GO GO GO. GO!

And, about then, I think I finally made it to the freeway entrance. All without any swearing. And all in only about 15 minutes. I even had time to get to the grocery store and still get home before the pup got too urgent. We'll save the grocery store parking lot inner monologue for another time. 

1 comment:

Robin said...

This is wonderful…I was thinking back through my drive home inner thoughts. I just have a few more swear words stuck in for emphasis.