Brownie Bites - and a giveaway (finally!)

Happy November!

I've got to admit that I was a little stressed before last week's elections, which is a large part of why I didn't post last week. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by the world, and wasn't sure how to either put that into words or do something about it.

My first thought, obviously, was baking, but that only gets you so far. (Even when it turns out as adorable as this.)

I mean... There's just *so* much going on that it's hard to focus on anything. So I took some time to kind of unplug for a couple of evenings, and came up with a plan that combines baking, that giveaway I keep thinking about, *and* something that we can all do. 

Let me explain: 

So, that makes sense, right? Beginning with this post, each of this month's blog posts will include not only a recipe but also a link to a GoFundMe page that is not mine, but that I've heard of through one way or another. And - in the week following the posting (so, from today - 11/10 - through next week's post on 11/16 or 11/17, for instance), each person who shares the blog post with that week's GoFundMe page in it will be entered into a drawing for the chance to receive a plate of cookies in the mail from me.*

With that in mind, in case you're not interested in the Brownie Bites, and want to cut to the chase with Kara's GoFundMe page, the link is here: Help Kara Walk Again.

Remember: Every time you share this blog post via social media in some way that I can be notified - by forwarding my original Facebook post, Tweet, or Instagram image related to it, for instance - you'll be entered into this week's drawing for a shipment of cookies. (If you share this directly from the blog, I'm not sure that I can track it. So maybe just put a message at the bottom letting me know you did.)*

Now, to the Brownie Bites. 

I started making these mini brownies a number of years ago. I was trying to figure out a "tidy" way to serve brownies. And this was - oddly enough - before all of the grocery stores had started putting out mini desserts. So it seemed really revolutionary to me. And - even though they're kind of omnipresent these days, I still really like them. 

You can make them from scratch (like from the 1950 Betty Crocker Cookbook): 

Or use a mix (my favorite is the Ghirardelli mix you can get at Costco): 

Or you could even just buy mini brownies from your local grocery store. 

If you're baking your own, I highly recommend not using muffin papers, but instead using a spray that has some kind of flour-type ingredient in it. I really like this one: 

And, to make them more interesting, you can add some fun frosting. I've been in kind of a cream cheese frosting mood, lately, so I did some online research and found out that there are basically four ingredients in a chocolate cream cheese frosting: cream cheese (duh), butter, powdered sugar, and cocoa. 

Amounts varied across all of the recipes I looked at, so I went with my gut and worked toward what felt good - both from a recipe standpoint and from an actual "feel"/texture standpoint. 

I started with 8 ounces of softened cream cheese and 4 ounces of softened butter. I creamed those together...

Then I added a half cup of cocoa. 

I added this before the powdered sugar because I knew I wanted to have that much cocoa, and I wanted to be able to adjust the density of the frosting by using more or less powdered sugar - not more or less cocoa. 

Next came the powdered sugar. This was a little bit of a guessing game, because I wanted to be able to pipe the frosting, so I didn't want it too stiff. But I also wanted it to hold up and not just ooze everywhere. 

The initial mixing was not looking promising - I think the dairy ingredients weren't warm enough.

I worked my way up to two cups of powdered sugar. This gave me an okay consistency, and yet the frosting was still a little tart from the cream cheese. 

Christopher did a quick taste test for me at this point, and because the frosting was a little "flat" - as well as being just a bit grainy - we reached for half a teaspoon of an old standby:

Which, after a good beating (I think I should have used a mixer, honestly), gave us this silky consistency:

Next step: Getting the frosting onto the brownie bites. 

For this, I turned to one of my oldest, best, kitchen friends: the Mirro Decorating kit and its 6 possible decorating tips. 

I chose the one in the upper left, because it is the larger of the two star tips, and I wanted to put a decent amount on each brownie.

I have no action shots of filling the tube or putting the frosting on the brownies, in part because I was using both hands to do each of those things. These are pretty basic steps, though. You put the frosting in through the plunger end, and then you use the plunger to extrude (yeah - probably should have thought of a better-sounding word for that, sorry) the frosting. Each filling of it probably frosted about 8-10 brownies. 

Here's the only shot that I have from that process:

Yeah. I said the gun made it easy - I didn't say I was perfectly tidy!

And, when all was said and done, that batch of frosting covered about 6 dozen mini-muffin-sized brownie bites (in the span of about 10 minutes - not including prior baking time, obviously).

At this point, I feel that I should remind you that there is a giveaway going on but - more importantly - for the rest of the month I'll be sharing some important fundraisers that you can get involved in. Remember: You don't need to make a donation to be included in each week's giveaway drawing, you just need to share this post in a way that I can know about it.

And, again, this is the GoFundMe page for this week, and you can get to it via the link in the caption:

Help Kara Walk Again

Kara is a friend of mine from college whose calling in life is to serve others through nursing - but also through just being a really good person. She's the kind of person who learns a foreign language just so she can speak to an elderly patient who doesn't know English. She honestly feels bad when she doesn't donate to someone asking for help on the street. And she just wants to be able to afford surgery on her hip so that she can walk without pain so that she can continue to lead her best life. (Her full story is on the GoFundMe page: Help Kara Walk Again.)

Donate if you can. Share whether you can donate or not. (And if you share via my social media, that's what'll get you into my giveaway drawing.)

(Fair warning: If you've followed this blog for any length of time, you know that I'm not great with tech. So please be as obvious as possible when sharing. If you share directly from my Facebook feed, tweet, or Instagram posting, I should be able to tell, but feel free to tag me in those shares just to be sure. And if you share directly through Blogger, just let me know so that I can make note.)*

Did they taste as good as they look?

I hope you're staying warm and cozy wherever you are - and thanks for helping to spread the word for Kara's sake!

Finally an excuse to use these tiny sauce bowls for baked goods!

-----

*Disclaimer: I'll be trying to draw a winner each week before the next post goes up. Everyone who shares the post in a way that I can track it (or who lets me know that it's being shared) will be entered into the drawing for the plate of cookies (shipping within the US, only). One entry per share, so feel free to share multiple times. No extra entries for making a donation to the fundraising pages, but don't let that stop you. 

Sometimes It's Real

Have you seen the McDonald's ads on TV where they talk about people being able to pay for their food and drinks with a "different kind of currency"? Well, during the Super Bowl, yesterday, they revealed that they were going to be asking people to pay "with love." (You know, it's the whole "I'm lovin' it" thing taken to the next level.)

If you missed out on it, here's the commercial (it's only a minute long, though the video is two minutes, so feel free to just stop it when it starts to replay).

So, anyway...

I always see this kind of offers and wonder who gets to take advantage of them. They tend to seem staged and I figure that they only really do this kind of thing in major markets or whatever.

But today a friend of mine posted on social media that she paid for a coffee with a happy dance.

Yes, the offer is random and there's a very good chance that I won't hear of this happening for anyone else between now and when the promotion ends on Valentine's day, but it makes me happy, nonetheless. And gives me one more reason to stop at McDonald's sometimes soon.*

Mainly, though, I'm just excited to know that it turned out to be a real thing - I may have even done a tiny bit of a chair-happy-dance in celebration of the occasion.

*And of course after the 14th... well... then it will be Shamrock Shake season. So I'm thinking someone over there is being pretty darned smart. 

A Whole New World

As we get older, there are fewer and fewer "firsts" available to us. We all have that list in our head that we tick off as we go along - for better or worse. Some of the firsts on my list I took as just some of the things that happen in life: 

First lost tooth. 

First fender bender. 

First hangover resulting from age more than alcohol consumption. 

Yeah. They're not fun things, but they happened. Then there were the amazing things: 

First serious kiss. 

First trip to Paris. 

First Broadway show. 

First date with Christopher. 

First serious kiss, trip to Paris, and Broadway show with Christopher. 

Those things were amazing. Things I'll never forget - for all the right reasons. And, of course, there are the kind of random things that also had to have a first: 

First time in surgery. 

First missed plane. 

First really bad job interview. 

Those are the things that you deal with for that first time and hope you'll never have to deal with again. But you figure you probably will. I'm sure that, at some point, I'll have more surgery. I'll miss more planes. I'll shoot myself in the foot in more job interviews. Those are the firsts (and seconds, and thirds, and...) that make life interesting. 

Today's first... Well... I'm not really sure where it's going to fall. It certainly wasn't as good as that middle group. It wasn't necessarily as bad as the last group. Perhaps it should go into the first group, since it's something that is bound to happen again, and I suspect I'll be more prepared for it in future. 

Today, you see, I was asked to verify whether or not I was eligible for a discount. Not because I'm from South Dakota. Not because I knew the answer to a trivia question. But because the very sweet (really - incredibly sweet), very young (maybe 16 years old?) girl behind the counter wasn't sure if I was in the "55 or older" category. 

I'm pleased to say that I did not freak out. I didn't sputter or steam. I simply said "No. Not yet. But thanks for asking." 

I also did not purchase my first package of Just for Men for my beard. 

Yet. 

Springing Ahead, Yet Not

You know those times when you look around and it feels like deja vu? 

But not the kind of deja vu where you feel like you walked into the same room before, even though it's in a country you've never been to. The kind where you look around and think "Wow. That looks almost identical to what was going on 25 years ago when I was that age."

Christopher and I were out tonight at a birthday party for his younger sister, and the bar we were in - a very loud, kind of not-so-high-class place - was full of a bunch of people who... well... they were mostly of the 25-years-younger-than-me range. 

While I was people watching, I found myself creating stories for each of them. Plotting out personalities for each of them. Guessing at the lives they're each now living, as well as what might be coming next. 

It's amazing how many of them fit into categories that matched people I knew in college and the years after that. 

The guy who was trying way too hard to be the one having a really good time. 

The guy who was dancing with himself, obviously trying to impress the women at the table in front of him. 

The guy who had apparently had too much to drink, now just standing in one place and kind of swaying as the world moved around him. 

The guy who was standing off to the side, baseball cap on backward, who probably would be fine in a few years, but was too shy for his own good, tonight. 

I watched them all and thought about my friends and the days when we were the ones who were out in the bars trying to impress the girls - and each other. And, yeah, I wondered which ones in the group would find out eventually that they were more interested in impressing each other than in impressing the girls. 

We left the bar before most of them did, so we'll never know how their stories play out. Although, if history truly does repeat itself, I have some pretty good ideas. 

Childhood Flashback

For a day when we haven't left the house, this has been a really busy day. In no particular order: We cleaned the house. We got a new stove delivered (but not hooked up - long story). We watched part of an Indiana Jones movie. We had lunch. We started doing laundry. We cleared some of the snow/ice off the sidewalks ("some" is as good as we could do at this point).

After we had the new stove in the house, and we were both inside and doing more cleaning/tidying/laundering, Christopher turned on the stereo and so we've been doing our work with a musical accompaniment. We've been chatting and scratching the pup and looking outside at the brilliant sun on the snow, and, somewhere along the way, I realized how much this feels like a weekend day when I was growing up.

Okay, so my parents had a drug store, and my dad was out of the house on Saturdays when most of the housecleaning was getting done. And most of the hanging out at home with the whole family was done on Sundays. But the combined effect is the same.

I think this is possibly enhanced by the fact that we're awaiting the arrival of a family friend (making her way carefully up the apparently-unfriendly roads), and tomorrow my folks will be making their way up here, as well (hopefully on less-unfriendly roads once the road chemicals have had some extra time to work).

At any rate, the feeling is there. The rare "this feels right" kind of feeling that is so hard to grasp. You'll forgive me if I wrap this up and enjoy it before it flits away.

Judgey McCoacher

I'm feeling very Judgey McJudgerson, tonight. But don't worry - it's tempered by the part of me that is Teachy McCoacher.

It's that time of year when - for the second year in a row - I've been asked to be a judge for a writing competition. Which, in many ways, falls right into my wheelhouse. After all, I spend my days as an editor, and - many moons ago - I was a college English teacher.

But it's a different world when you're judging adult entries into a writing contest. There's no interaction with the people, so even though they've entered the contest and know that they're going to be judged, I kind of feel like it's mean to score them. I always have this visual of some little blue-haired lady in a shawl who is going to read what I've written and hate me and vow to never send me cookies. (I have this in mind, even though I have no idea the ages of the entrants, and I'm guessing the median age is probably about my age.)

Consequently, I really kind of want to sit down with each of them for 15 minutes and say "Here's what's wrong with these 10 pages. But - don't worry - because here's what's right with them." After all, as a writer, myself, I know that one "this is wrong" comment can take the wind out of 257 "this is right" comments. And - for better or worse - that really sucks the big one.

So I spend a lot of time on these entries treating them as I would treat students - which is nicer than I treat many of the people I do edits for, since the ones I'm editing often seem to think they're hot shit, and - sadly - are only half right more often than not. So while I do my best to coach (or at least get through to) the authors I'm editing, with these entries I give hand-written critique, and I make marginal notes, and I put a little "Good luck as you move forward" note at the end of each - or at least most - of them.

And I hope that, when they all get my comments back with their entries they think "Hey, this is helpful, I see what he meant. I can move forward with this," instead of "Damn, I'm horrible, I should never have done this." (Which, really, is the same thing I'm hoping the other authors are thinking, when you come right down to it.)

Because, although I may sometimes feel that the authors I'm working with shouldn't have written what they've written, I'm always glad that they have written something. And I'm always kind of terrified that critiquing these entries - even though they've asked to be critiqued - might turn someone off from writing. And that - no matter how low the entry's score - would be a bad thing.

When Things Go Right

At work, I have been dealing with a really, truly, mediocre piece of non-fiction. Well, it's sort of non-fiction, but it has a bunch of fiction in it.

It's a kind of "how-to" for dealing with some of life's less pleasant legal situations. And while a bunch of it is fact-based, there are also a lot of mostly-not-real "what-if" situations described in it.

And, because of it's strange, genre-straddling nature - and because I was working on two other high-profile pieces early last month - this one maxed out my time. (For context, normally, for a first-round edit, we get a maximum of 4 business weeks - you'll need to know that in about two or three paragraphs.)

I spent all last week frustrated with how little progress I was making. And I kept having to remind myself that there were so many different little weird ancillary problems coming up in the office - and the book had so many little strange quirks of its own - that it wasn't my fault that I was cutting it so close to the deadline.

So I actually brought it home with me this weekend and spent time on it, yesterday. And then I went to work an hour early, today, to get a jump on it. And then, about 2 this afternoon, I started to try to figure out when it had been assigned to me.

On first figuring, I'd had it for over 3 weeks (I took it over from someone else who was too busy to get to it). Then I looked closer. I finished a behemoth proofread 3.5 weeks ago. But then I had done a 2-week edit. So, really, I had only had this one on my desk for... umm... gee... I guess that explains why the edit seemed to be kind of a killer. Nothing like doing 4 weeks' worth of editing in about 1.5 weeks.

But it's done (for now - it'll be back in a few weeks for another go-round). And my calendar's next true deadline is about 2 weeks out. Of course, having said that, I'm sure that all hell will break loose tomorrow. But at least from about 4:45 this afternoon until I left the office at 5, my work life was grand.

Past Lives

It has been a strange day of living in my past. Kind of unintentionally.

I mean... I haven't been in a funk and wanting to relive some other time - which I totally admit happens from time to time - it just kind of happened of its own accord, today.

I reached into my closet this morning for a t-shirt. I wanted something with a graphic of some kind (because I can wear that kind of thing to work), and just pulled out the first shirt that I put my hand on. It's a really comfortable t-shirt from the 30th Birthday celebration for a store called Kitchen Bazaar from out in Maryland. I worked there in... umm... 1993, maybe? Maybe 1994? But I still have good friends from there, and good friends I met while working there - but who, themselves, did not work there.

At work, today, I was introduced to a new member of staff, and the topic came up that - having started at the company 4 years ago - I'm currently the 6th most senior member of the staff.

In the course of the day, I got a notice that a good friend of mine will be leaving his job at CenterStage Theater in Baltimore in the near future. This is a good friend of mine whom I hired to work under me in the Box Office many years ago - I worked there from 1996 until 2002. (He has, since, gone on to be a Box Office manager and then work in the Development office and do all sorts of cool things.) He's kind of my last solid connection to that theater. It's a weird feeling knowing that he's moving on and that I won't need to stop by the theater to see people on future visits to Baltimore.

Got home from work and had a SDSU alumni magazine (class of 1989!) in the mail. No biggie. I get those often enough - although it did seem a bit coincidental.

But then I opened an envelope from my parents to find that the note was written on a card which had the show artwork from a CenterStage production of the August Wilson play "Two Trains Running" on the front of it (which I recognized and was able to name even before looking at the back of the card, even though the show ran a couple of seasons before I started work there).

What else was in the envelope? A clipping from my hometown newspaper's "Way Back When" column where, from 24 years ago, there was a notice that I had just been awarded a Fulbright Teaching Assistantship to France (apparently one of 12 recipients from SDSU from 1968 until 1989, in case you were wondering).

I'm not sure what it all means, really.

Perhaps it's just all funky coincidence based in the fact that today was the birthday of Douglas Adams - the guy who wrote the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series of books.

Perhaps it's the universe's not-so-subtle way of reminding me where I've come from.

Perhaps it's a hint that I need to clear out my closet more frequently.

We may never know.

Music of Life - Dave Brubeck and Zach Sobiech

As I was sitting here staring at the blank screen and trying to figure out what to write about, I realized that I could hear "Take Five" by Dave Brubeck coming from the other room. I don't know what Christopher was doing, but that's what was playing.

And, suddenly, I was home in my parents' house as a kid probably on a Sunday afternoon when Mom would be painting and Dad would be reading the newspaper or napping. The four of us kids would be doing our own things - frequently involving reading books or annoying each other - and the stereo would be on. There was a lot of Dave Brubeck. There was also a lot of Neil Diamond and Chuck Mangione and stuff that spanned the decades from the 50s forward.

I watched a CBS Sunday Morning interview with Tim McGraw over the weekend, and he talked about how people can pinpoint parts of their lives through music. When I heard that I knew exactly what he was talking about. For me, music has always been one of my touchstones - one of the things that anchors me.

I hear songs and although I may not know where I was when I heard them, I almost always know what it felt like, who I was with, and what part of my life they connect to.

There's a 17-year-old kid from the Twin Cities area named Zach Sobiech, who has gotten a lot of attention in the past few months for a song he's written - and recorded - called "Clouds." It's a great song, and it seems to be touching a lot of people on many different levels, even though he admits that it was written as a private thing. (It's gotten over 2 million hits on YouTube in less than 3 months, and is available on iTunes.)

It stopped being private when one of the local radio stations was doing its annual fundraiser for the Children's Cancer Research Fund and they met Zach, who happens to have Osteosarcoma which has - at this point - reached the end of its treatability. I heard him on the radio, today, with his mom who was trying to explain to the radio hosts that they are now completely beyond any possible treatments. So, really, at this point it's just a waiting game.

In the meantime, though, Zach has recorded an album with his singing partner (Sammy Brown) and has been signed by BMI records as a songwriter. No one knows how many songs he'll have the chance to write, or what will happen to them. But, still, the opportunity... the possibility... it's there in front of him.

In my life, songs are tied to memories, emotions, dreams, and daydreams - all those things that impact my life in the long run, for better or worse. And my long run is already almost 3 decades more than Zach's. Having come across "Clouds," I can only hope to also fill those memories with the kind of passion and grace he's showing in his music.

**You can read more about Zach Sobiech, make a donation to the Children's Cancer Research Fund, and/or listen to "Clouds" here.

Okay. Deep Breath, Everyone.

Twenty-four hours from now - or, well, maybe about thirty-six hours from now, since we have to factor in Hawaii, too - the voting will be pretty much done.

The 2012 election will be all over except for the counting. The godforsaken political hate ads will finally be off the air.

Regardless of who wins or loses; regardless of what happens with state amendments and statutes; regardless of what we want to have had happen, we're going to have to live with ourselves and each other after beginning on Wednesday.

We'll have to go back to actually speaking to each other. Civilly.

We'll have to try to rebuild some of the bridges we've burned during the past few months.

And, yes, we'll have to live with whatever decisions we've made in the voting booths.

With all of that in mind, and with the firm conviction that the most important thing about tomorrow is simply that we all go out and vote - regardless of who we're voting for - I offer you a few final thoughts on the subjects at hand:

It's hugely important to me that I ask people to vote in favor of love, civil rights, human rights, and voter rights. Because of that, I'm urging people to vote NO on both of the amendments on the MN State ballot tomorrow. If you're not sure how you want to vote on those, leave it blank. That will count as a "NO" vote, and it will mean that even if you're not completely sure about it all, you don't want to institutionalize hatred or discrimination. (Or - and I think I have these all right, but you'll want to verify if any of them applies to you - if you're in Maryland, vote Yes on 6; or Yes on 74 in Washington; or Yes on Question 1 in Maine.)

And remember when I wrote about wanting to be able to visit Christopher if he ever ends up in the hospital? Well, one of the presidential candidates is in favor of all kinds of families, and wants to celebrate diversity. While the Republicans have openly stated that they think my ability to visit Christopher in the hospital (or vice-versa - I just realized that I keep putting Christopher in the hospital in these discussions) is a "privilege," I'll be voting for Obama and Biden, who think that a right is a right - regardless of who is exercising it.

But, again, as much as I would love it if you voted the same way I plan to, my main hope is that we all take advantage of the inalienable right to simply vote.

And breathe. Breathing is also very important if we want to see what the outcome is on the other side of the election.

When Worlds Divide

In a book I've been reading for the book club I'm in, and in a couple of different TV shows I watch, there's been a lot of stuff about people living multiple lives.

Which is not - well, not entirely - to say that these people are duping someone else and taking on new lives on purpose. That only happens in the book. Oh, and one of the TV shows.

But not everyone in the book who is leading multiple lives is actually doing it on purpose or by choice. They seem to kind of fall into the lives that they didn't plan on. Which I guess is where this all kind of ties in for me.

There is a theory which shows up in a certain amount of science fiction which says that every decision that is made splits off the world into multiple new realities. (Don't think about this too hard, because it will make your head hurt and you don't really need to know this.) For the sake of argument, let's just take the big decisions. For instance, what would the world be like if Kennedy had ducked? Or if Walt Disney had never gone to California? Or if you'd never gone on that one first date?

We all create alternate realities each time we fantasize about our lives. I know for a fact that my life would be different if I had won any of the lottery jackpots that I bought tickets for. But that doesn't mean that I would want to live a completely different life, I'd simply have the same life, with some differences. I don't think any of us would truly want to become someone else, entirely.

And yet, from time to time, doesn't that sound kind of fun?

Obviously a lot of people get into the idea - otherwise Halloween wouldn't be such a big deal. And there are even people who make a living at it as actors and performers. And we all, on some level, re-invent ourselves when we start new jobs or meet new friends.

I wonder, sometimes, who I'd be if I had taken other paths. If I'd taken the semester and gone on the school exchange for the speech program. If I'd taken the job teaching on the Eastern Shore. If I'd moved to Texas instead of Minnesota (yes, it was a real option for a short period of time).

But then I come back to who and where I am now, and I realize that I don't really need to know. Because I like the who and the where that I am. And the who I'm with and the where we are together. And all of the people and places and chaos and bliss that go along with it.

Still... on some strange nights when the moon is just so... the Gemini in me begins to wonder what the other versions of me are doing in those other realities.

And I wonder if they think about me, too.

How Did They Know?

Tonight on "Go On" (the new Matthew Perry sitcom which I'm still considering watching but which probably won't become "Must See TV" for me), the Loss support group he attends was trying to find things to do together.

One of the problems is that, since they belong to a "Loss" support group they occasionally refer to themselves as "losers" (because, obviously, they've all lost someone).

So... The episode was moving along, and I was doing other things, and I looked up to see them, rather inexplicably (I think I missed a plot point along the way) in a bowling alley.

And, of course, here is the assumption we're supposed to make: Losers who have nowhere else to go go bowling.

Now, I would like to point out that there are plenty of people who go bowling who are not losers. After all, bowling leagues are big social events, which means that you not only have an excuse to buy shoes and accessories, but you get to go out eating and drinking and, in essence, breaking things. (Since, really, you're throwing a heavy ball at small things and making all sorts of noise that someone else has to fix.)

But, all that social goodness aside, bowling is not a glamor sport. It's a sport where people who don't really fit in in other sports go because they don't have to be overly athletic or coordinated. Which is why the "losers" on "Go On" were there.

Here's the sad/scary thing: Tomorrow afternoon, as part of an office "morale-boosting" event, we're going - you guessed it - bowling. In the middle of the day. Somewhere far enough away from home that drinking enough to make an office event fun is out of the question.

Wish me luck.

Follow-up x3

Although the comments are few and far between, I do actually get some comments on here. And, since I'm sure that most of you don't go back and check after reading this, I thought I'd try to point some of the recent ones out.

1) In response to "Before the Travel..." - It seems that the topic of travel planning is important to at least two people. One who says that she needs to do more planning (I'm guessing for the joy of the planning), and one who says she seldom takes trips (possibly because the planning is the joy - not the travel). Either way, Christopher and I are continuing to plan our upcoming vacation. We've got flights and hotels nailed down, and have started a to-do list. We still have to confirm a dog-sitter, though. Hopefully there won't be any "cart-before-the-horse" dilemmas.

2) In response to "Watching the Past Catch Up" - I had two people offer to be recipients of the proposed purple pansies. Of course, since my brain barely makes it from week to week these days, I'll admit up front that I may not remember that in 20 years.

3) Perhaps one of my favorite responses of late was in response to "If It's Not Schadenfreude, What Is It?" That posting got a lot of response - just not very much of it actually on blogger.com. I had a lot of people basically offer to go out and kick the kneecaps of the person I'm frustrated by. Which was a nice show of support, but not exactly an answer to my question. Luckily, I had one friend who did some research and found that a back-formed antonym has been created. Instead of "Schadenfreude" meaning "happiness at the misfortune of others," the new word is "Freudenschade" with a meaning of "unhappiness at the good fortune of others." I'm not sure what made me happier - the idea that someone else came up with a word for what I was feeling, or the fact that a friend of mine went to the work of finding out what that word might be. It almost mitigates the feeling of schadenfreude all by itself. Almost.

Perhaps I should buy some purple pansies and work on more vacation planning. That might make me a little less Schaden, and a little more Freuden.

Or something like that.

If It's Not Schadenfreude, What Is It?

"Schadenfreude" is one of those words, and feelings, that has moved into the public consciousness over the past few years. I think I probably first really noticed it in the musical "Avenue Q" where they have a whole song about it - and even spell it out in time with the music (which, frankly, is how I know how to spell it).

If you don't know about schadenfreude, it's one of those fun words that comes to us from the German language. It means, roughly, "happiness at the misfortune of others." You know, like when someone you don't like working with gets fired and it makes you happy. Or when you laugh at someone who is texting and walks into a post.

But that's not what I want to talk about.

What I'm having issues with, today, is something that's kind of on the flip side of that. It's having to deal with people who don't seem to deserve the good stuff, yet who somehow get the good stuff. It's a little bit of jealousy. It's a little bit of sour grapes. It's a plea for instant karma.

Yes, I know it's also a perfect chance for forgiveness and rising above - but I know myself well enough to know that that ain't happenin'.

Here's one of the reasons behind the need for the new word: Someone I dealt with as a client - who was really really really mean to work with (to the point of being belittling and threatening - especially when she knew she was wrong), has apparently been doing quite well, lately. I keep hearing about this through mutual friends, who don't realize what went on in the past (because I don't talk about things like that with mutual friends). It annoys the freakin' hell out of me.

There's also the guy who has decided every single person at my company is out to "nickel and dime" him, and so he's getting meaner and meaner. (How *dare* we charge him what it says we will charge in the contract which he signed!) And, lately, his book sales have been going up. And although I've never read the book, I know it's supposed to be about people doing "good" things. I guess he wasn't writing from a place of personal experience.

And so I think we need a new word. Kinda like schadenfreude, only different. Something that means "I'm happy for you, but I would be even happier if karma would come around and bite you in the ass. Really really hard. Twice."

If you find a word like that, could you let me know?

Thanks, everso.

Karma Claus

Believe what you will about Santa's Naughty and Nice lists, I have to think that there is something kind of karmically appealing about them this year.

I'm not sure if you watch commercials, but I frequently do. (Christopher can attest to that.) And this holiday season, it seems that many of the Christmas-themed commercials have been really snarky and kind of nasty.

While we have the traditionally tear-jerking Folger's ad (and it's newer version from a year or so ago), we also have an ad where a grown son comes home in a nice car, and his parents - instead of greeting him - disappear from the house and take off in his car. "Grand theft auto" as Christmas message. Charming. The irony of that, though? I couldn't even tell you what company it's for. It took me multiple watchings before I even realized it was a car ad - I thought maybe it was for an erectile dysfunction medicine, considering how quickly the parents left...

On the way-over-the-top snarkability scale, though, have been the Best Buy ads. They feature women (yes, they've all been women) buying all of the gifts on their lists, then mocking Santa when he doesn't have room to put things in stockings. Or, in the latest one, there is a woman standing on the rooftop when Santa arrives and not only challenging him to get around her to do his job, but also kicking a lighted Santa off the roof. They have sweet little tag lines like "Game on, Santa." Such a lovely yuletide message.

You know... Santa is a good guy. He spends the entire Christmas season trying to spread joy and peace and goodwill. He goes out of his way to try to make wishes come true on Christmas Eve. He's not trying to compete with anyone. He just wants the kids in the houses to have a good year.

Why couldn't Best Buy have used the same basic ads, but run a campaign focusing on "Take a break, Santa, we've got this one covered?" Target (another local mega-store company) has been running ads where they are helping Santa with last-minute gifts. Why couldn't Best Buy have done that?

For whatever reason, Best Buy decided that being snarky, bitchy, competitive, and kinda nasty, was the way to celebrate the Holiday. And you know what that got them?

A great big news spread, three days before Christmas, saying that they are unable to fulfill a whole bunch of orders which were placed online beginning the day after Thanksgiving. That's right - all of Best Buy's snark and sarcasm are now resulting in them having to offer apologies (some with gift cards attached), and leaving nasty tastes in a whole lot of shoppers' mouths.

Makes you wonder what the result might have been if just one of their commercials had included a thankful family leaving out a few cookies and a glass of milk for the big guy in the red suit, doesn't it?

Quotable Finding

I've shared some of the strange things that I've found at work.

Quotes that made no sense - even after they were cleaned up for grammar and punctuation. Plots with no plot. Today, I stopped doing some editing to go to a meeting right in the middle of a sex scene because it was both too boring and too graphic - all at the same time.

It may come as no surprise that we sometimes find that the best pieces of writing in the manuscripts we receive are either quotations from other sources or... well... plagiarized (so "unquotations" from other sources). And, frankly, a lot of the time I don't even enjoy those because they're so poorly used.

Today, however, I came across something that I really liked - so I decided to share it.

Now, I fully admit that it may not work out of the context in which I read it. I was listening to some music at the time and was enjoying some kind of "early winter" reminiscing. And that's when I came across this quote, which is being used as an epigram at the beginning of a book I was proofreading:

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,there is a field. I'll meet you there.

It's by a Persian author from the 13th century most commonly referred to as Rumi. And the quote goes on, but I kind of like just that piece. Especially as we're nearing the most reflective part of the year.

Wouldn't it be great if - at least around the Holidays, to start - we could all simply spend time together in that field beyond wrongdoing and rightdoing?

If anyone finds a map to it, promise you'll let me know.

How You Are in "Real" Life

I'm sitting here watching the reunion show for "Food Network Star" and I'm listening to people kind of... well... tear each other apart. Some of it is through clips from the season, and some is simply part of the reunion show.

Anyone who watches "reality" TV knows that editing can play a huge role in how a person is portrayed and perceived. Clips can be strung together to make an angel look like a devil, or a loon come across as the only sane one in the house. At the same time, though, there is the realization that every clip that shows up on TV *did* happen. The context might be messed with. The intent might be mis-played. But whatever we're seeing actually did happen.

So, I just heard someone say "I'm not like that in real life. Am I like that in business? Yes. Am I like that in a competition? Yes. But that's not how I am in real life."

But... Umm... If you spend 1/3 of your life (on average) at your job doing your business, doesn't that mean that you ARE that way in real life?

I work with this type of situation every day. I think that - for the most part - I'm exactly the same person in the office that I am out of it. (For better or worse.) My sense of humor is the same. My loyalties to my friends are the same. My desire to produce a good product that I can be proud of is the same. And, yes, the troubles I have with "suffering fools gladly" is exactly the same.

I work with two or three other people who have a tendency to drive me pretty darned close to the edge of wanting to not be professional with them. But they are friends with other co-workers I really enjoy. And I'm constantly told that they're "not like that when they're not at work."

My question? "Why not?" Or, more appropriately "So why do they have to be like that at work?"

People who don't speak to you at work, but want to be chummy as soon as you leave the office. People who are rude and unpleasant for 8 hours of the day, and are apparently sweet as pie as soon as the clock strikes 5. I'm sorry, but if we - as people - are really only awake for about 16 hours per day, and if 8 of those hours are at work, it seems to me that the jerkiness actually *is* the real life way that these people are.

On the other hand, last week I ran into a situation where someone in my office was being... well... to be polite... a total ass - as he has been ever since he started. And, for the first time, I decided not to just sit back and take it, and I told him so. I emailed later to apologize for being as straightforward as I had been, and offered a few tips for how we might work past the situation.

What I got in response was something from him saying "Hey. No problem. It happens." Which, I guess, means that he's accepting my apology for calling him an ass, but not apologizing for being one. Gee. That makes me feel *so* much better.

Sadly, I doubt that the people I work with will ever get to watch themselves on a reality TV show. And - considering that reaction from last week - I'm guessing that all we'd hear afterward would be "But, that's not how I am in my real life."

Say It Like You Mean It

Sometimes I really wonder about the people I work with at my job. Yes, I wonder about my co-workers, but I also wonder about our clients.

We've got a new person who started about a month ago in probably the most difficult position in the company. She's doing pretty well, all things considered, but there are some things she hasn't learned, yet, simply because there's SO much to learn.

Today, after she'd already been dealing with multiple rounds of questions from the same author - to which she'd already explained exactly what is happening with one of her services - the author sent another response. But, for absolutely no reason, the author decided to copy me on the email which she sent.

Now, here's the thing: A lot of our authors copy random people on emails. I don't think they do it by accident, and I don't think they do it to truly try to get help. I think they figure they'll either catch the first person in a lie, or get people to gang up and put pressure on the first person to get things done.

So, when she emailed saying that she "didn't mean to be rude or disrespectful" and then was exactly that, I'm pretty sure that she copied me on the email to point out how "bad" my co-worker is at her job, and to get me to jump on the bandwagon of getting more done. Boy, was she wrong.

You see, as anyone who has worked with me in the past knows, I'm pretty protective of the people I work with - especially those who are in some ways in need of help.

I decided to take the time to respond to the author. I congratulated her on how her process has gone. I thanked her for her kind words about how well we all have been doing our jobs. And I praised my co-worker on how great she's been doing, even though she's new. Basically, I just spread a ton of sunshine. No "tone" in any of it, except for saying that my co-worker was new, but had been hired because we had faith in her abilities.

And then, in a "ps" after my signature, I pointed out that the author - though certainly not meaning to be rude or disrespectful - had been misspelling my co-worker's name in every single email she had sent.

Apparently she got the point. She replied almost immediately saying that she apologized for any perceived "tone" in her emails, saying that she really hopes that we can all work together and move forward.

I wonder if she'll ever blithely copy me on any of her emails, again? After all, we're all getting along so well, now.

Karma du Jour - The Pull-up Bar

Once upon a time in a far off kingdom known as the place I work, one of the people we refer to as "those annoying people" decided that it would be a good idea to bring in a pull-up bar which he hadn't been using at home.

It was one of those pull-up bars that kind of self-mount in any door frame. The weight of the person using it forces it in place and makes it hold tight. Assuming your door is of a normal depth and width.

So it was that, for about three weeks, annoying person would nag and cajole and pressure other people in the office to use the pull-up bar. And, in the middle of the day the rest of us would occasionally - out of the blue - hear heavy breathing, loud grunting, and "unnnhhh... oooooohhh... haaaaaa..." sounds that made us all wonder what was going on in the annoying people's office. And whether they were using appropriate protection. Or, rather, it didn't make us wonder, but it did make the clients we were speaking to on the phone or, worse, in the conference room.

And it came to pass that, well, people kind of started getting used to it. Except for those of us who don't get to wear headphones, so we were forced to hear all of this when it was going on.

Then, one day - we'll call it yesterday - one of the annoying people was walking past my desk complaining to someone else that he had hit himself in the face. He was, in fact, bleeding in his mouth from the impact of cheek against teeth. I honestly figured it had something to do with a coffee cup or something, until one of my co-workers said to me "Guess what annoying person just did to hurt himself?"

I pondered with all of my pondering might, and came up with the funniest thing I could think of. "He hit himself in the face with the pull-up bar," I said, taking a drink of water.

"Yep."

I almost spit the water across the room. Annoying guy had, in fact, been hit in the face when the pull-up bar made for doors of normal depth and width came undone from the very non-normal door frame.

Annoying guy then spent the rest of the day complaining to everyone around (whether they would listen or not) that he had hurt himself on the pull-up bar. Saying that he was lightheaded and might need to go home. And vowing that he would NEVER use that blasted thing again unless it was bolted to the wall, so don't even think of asking him.

I know it's wrong to laugh at his pain. But, after hearing annoying guy badgering everyone in the office to try the pull-up bar - and having been one of those people simply unable to do pull-ups in high school - I do think that the Karmic circle is just too good to pass up.

I promise to stop laughing about it.

Soon.

Mayhap tomorrow.

Or possibly the next day...

Theatrical Thursday - Mirror Mates

So, when was the last time you had the chance to get in at the very start of something big? Or the last time you put a dollar down on something and hoped to see it take off like a standing ovation? Or the chance to help someone's dream come true?

Well, here's your new best chance!

A very good friend of mine, and some very good friends of hers, are trying to put together backing to mount a staged reading of a brand new piece of theater: Mirror Mates: A Two Faced Farce.

Mirror Mates is, indeed, a farce which takes place in two settings: a home for the chronically ill, and a decrepit dinner theater. And the players play characters on both sides of the... well... for the sake of this posting... mirror.

From what I've heard, it's really a trip, and a lot of fun. And you (yes, you) have a chance to be involved!

They've launched a page on the website called "Kickstarter" that helps people spread the word about new projects and raise money. You can pledge anywhere from a dollar on up, and - here's a cool thing - if they don't make their initial fundraising goal, your credit card won't be charged at all. So you don't have to worry about donating money that never goes anywhere. If you get charged, that means it's going!

Anyway... Here is the link to the Mirror Mates Kickstarter pledge page - there's all sorts of information about the show, about the people involved, about what you can get for your money, and - no surprise - how to make that pledge.

I know it's the Holidays, and we're all kind of strapped, but if you can donate, please do. (And don't forget - they won't be charging anyone until February 1st, so try to make your pledge based on your cashflow in a "regular" month, not a Christmas-present-buying one.)

Thanks!