Anyone who watches "reality" TV knows that editing can play a huge role in how a person is portrayed and perceived. Clips can be strung together to make an angel look like a devil, or a loon come across as the only sane one in the house. At the same time, though, there is the realization that every clip that shows up on TV *did* happen. The context might be messed with. The intent might be mis-played. But whatever we're seeing actually did happen.
So, I just heard someone say "I'm not like that in real life. Am I like that in business? Yes. Am I like that in a competition? Yes. But that's not how I am in real life."
But... Umm... If you spend 1/3 of your life (on average) at your job doing your business, doesn't that mean that you ARE that way in real life?
I work with this type of situation every day. I think that - for the most part - I'm exactly the same person in the office that I am out of it. (For better or worse.) My sense of humor is the same. My loyalties to my friends are the same. My desire to produce a good product that I can be proud of is the same. And, yes, the troubles I have with "suffering fools gladly" is exactly the same.
I work with two or three other people who have a tendency to drive me pretty darned close to the edge of wanting to not be professional with them. But they are friends with other co-workers I really enjoy. And I'm constantly told that they're "not like that when they're not at work."
My question? "Why not?" Or, more appropriately "So why do they have to be like that at work?"
People who don't speak to you at work, but want to be chummy as soon as you leave the office. People who are rude and unpleasant for 8 hours of the day, and are apparently sweet as pie as soon as the clock strikes 5. I'm sorry, but if we - as people - are really only awake for about 16 hours per day, and if 8 of those hours are at work, it seems to me that the jerkiness actually *is* the real life way that these people are.
On the other hand, last week I ran into a situation where someone in my office was being... well... to be polite... a total ass - as he has been ever since he started. And, for the first time, I decided not to just sit back and take it, and I told him so. I emailed later to apologize for being as straightforward as I had been, and offered a few tips for how we might work past the situation.
What I got in response was something from him saying "Hey. No problem. It happens." Which, I guess, means that he's accepting my apology for calling him an ass, but not apologizing for being one. Gee. That makes me feel *so* much better.
Sadly, I doubt that the people I work with will ever get to watch themselves on a reality TV show. And - considering that reaction from last week - I'm guessing that all we'd hear afterward would be "But, that's not how I am in my real life."
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