"What the...?" Wednesday

As many of you know, I've been doing freelance editing for a while, now. Although there are some pretty good pieces that I come across at work, there are more than a few pieces of... well... crap.

In the past couple of days, I've encountered some pretty amazingly awful pieces of writing. And, of course, I have to share them.

Let me stress, in advance, that these were not written as jokes. These are not spoofs. These are the actual pieces of writing which authors are working on publishing. Some are being edited, some are beyond that stage and are what the author is actually sending to print.

(I just realized that the intro to this post is going to be longer than the post, itself.)

Here you go:

I believe that issues such as this should be placed on the ballet every two years. (I don't know about you, but I feel sorry for the dancers who have to carry around these issues while also doing their pas de deux and grands jetees.)

For those of you who have already heard about some of the gems in that piece of... umm... writing, you may also have already heard of these:

"divide and concur" (Apparently, once we're apart from each other, we're more agreeable.)

"the rise in the National Dept" (I believe that the National Dept has been moved from the 1st floor at Macy's up to the 4th floor, right next to the International Department.)

"We must stop barrowing money from our children's futures." (Now, aside from the fact that I don't have children, I also don't have enough money to need to move it in a wheelbarrow. Do you?)

And, finally, the quote - from a completely different work-related source - which everyone seems to love:

"Life has a funny way of knocking you down, just when you think things couldn’t be better, they get worst. Can she survive it’s raft?" (Yeah. Really. I have no idea what to do with that.)