Words of... Well... Not Exactly Wisdom...

I wouldn't (usually) profess to being wise. I would, however, profess to having some fairly random insights into really random things.

Okay, sure, some people might say that I simply rant at random times about strange topics. Po-tay-to/Po-tah-to.

Why don't you decide for yourself by reading through the following 10 moments of Tizdom?

1) If you've just had an accident, you probably shouldn't be staring at your phone to text as you drive away. Or at least wait until the cop is gone before you do.

2) If you grew up loving trilogies, and you've always wanted to write a trilogy, try writing three books. It doesn't count to write a short novel and name it "Blah Blah Blah: A Trilogy."

3) If you feel that something has been done wrong, and the person who did it "wrong" says he didn't know it was wrong, you might get further if you simply explain what to do the next time, instead of yelling about how wrong it is. (Especially when the person you're yelling at can point to the instructions to prove you wrong.)

4) Just because you have headphones in the car does not mean you should use headphones in the car.

5) If you don't want your personal life to be public, don't put all of your personal details on the Internet. The Internet is *not* a private space. How can the rest of the world be expected to keep your secrets if you can't keep them, yourself?

6) Telling someone "I need it tomorrow, and if you can't get it to me I'm going to complain to your boss" when you've already been told that the turnaround time is supposed to be three to six weeks, isn't going to make it get to you any faster. Although it may make it slower.

7) Sometimes, an unexpectedly gorgeous blue sky on a crisp late-spring morning makes carrying a poop bag worthwhile.

8) Yes. If you stop at a green light, or turn in front of me without using a turn signal, or walk into traffic while texting, or ride your bike through the signal into traffic, or cut me off on the freeway, I will honk my horn. Or, if I'm feeling quiet, I may flip you off or simply swear loudly in my car and post about you online. I figure that's probably better for both of us than me running you down and backing over you three or four times and then claiming "temporary insanity."

9) Want a bigger tip? Give me better service. I'm not a haggler or bargainer by any means - and I'll give anyone the benefit of the doubt for possible bad days and all - but if you're going to give me crappy service, you're probably going to get a crappy tip. And I think you should be okay with that.

10) Before you complain about bad workmanship, be sure that you aren't the one who caused the problem. If you caused the scratch by walking into a door, or mis-spelled every instance of "their" because you were sure Spellcheck was right and I - I mean "your editor" - was wrong, or you got the wrong drink because (surprise) you ordered the wrong drink, then suck it up and admit you were wrong. Then get on with your life. That's Accountability 101.

"Diamond" John Barrowman Sighting

It's been a while since I've stumbled across any John Barrowman sightings. And, since I TiVo'd all of the Queen's Jubilee celebration on BBC America, it took me a bit longer than it probably took other people to see him.

But, there he was on the "Belfry boat" at the front of the procession down the Thames, looking a bit stressed out, but also looking very excited to be there. And, later on, he actually got to sit down and talk about the whole experience, too.

I was happy to see the interview, because I wasn't sure if he was just being overly frenetic for no reason on the boat. But he explained that he was dealing with such overwhelming emotions that he had to kind of "wave and cry" all at once as the boat went down the river. Since I was tearing up just watching it all on TV, I can't imagine what it must have been like for someone in his position!

I was also happy to see that he didn't look quite as Botoxed as usual in the interview. Of course, that could just be me - since I've noticed more grey hair, lately, and prefer to have other people who are my age also look... well... my age.

It was a bit odd to realize that he had his "American" accent working for him even in the midst of the British festivities, but - again - that could just be me, since I do enjoy a British accent. (But that's kind of a different story...)

If you'd like to see the video of the interview, it seems to be here on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlBFTuMpneQ .

Barrowman in the morning, and the Tony Awards on tonight. Sunday is looking pretty good!

Thotful Thursday - Post-vacation

I realize I'm kind of stretching it with some of the vacation conversations, but there are reasons for that. So I thought I'd give you some of them:

- The Wisconsin recall election. Hatred and greed, after being exposed, still got voted back into office. In part because they outspent the opposition 8-to-1. Yeah, that's a good electoral system, isn't it?

- The Diamond Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth. A celebration of sixty years of service and dedication, filled with pomp and circumstance and fireworks for all the country/commonwealth/world to see. I've been watching parts of it that I TiVo'd. Yes, there have been tears.

- An attempt at less online time. Having come back from a full week with *no* internet access (by choice), I found that I actually rather enjoyed that I hadn't been in touch constantly with the flow of "news" from the world. I didn't turn my computer on after work on Monday, either. And I'm only on to post, tonight. It's weird, but I'm enjoying it.

- Photo sorting. I haven't even started to try to go through the gazillion photos I took on our trip. I really need to do that, soon. But I also need to upgrade my Mac before the end of the month (the whole "iCloud" thing is coming and has to be dealt with), and I'm kind of weirded out about whether I should deal with the photos, first, or the upgrade, first. So... umm... stalemate at the moment.

- Something I'm going to call "blogger's block." All of the above has me kind of stymied for what to write, this week. I'm hoping that it's temporary, though, and that I'll be back in fine fetter after a few more days. After all, the Tony Awards are on Sunday, and if those can't get me out of a funk, I'm not sure what can.

Travel Tuesday - AfterEffects

Yesterday morning, on my first day back at work, I was actually pleasantly surprised by how rested and relaxed I felt. I was driving to work thinking "It seems like I haven't been there in ages." And that is a good thing. It's the mark of a good vacation, in my eyes. And the more I think about it, the more I think that Christopher and I really did have a good vacation last week.

Granted, it was a freakin' hot and humid vacation, at 85 degrees and 85% humidity, but we could sweat with a badge of honor, since the locals were all saying it was even hot and humid for them. In comparison, the 80 degrees with 50% humidity that we're getting at home this week seems like a breeze.

My left wrist started peeling, yesterday. Amazingly, with all of the time we spent in the sun, we seem to have used enough sunscreen to make it back with few burns. I missed spraying a streak of my left wrist on our first day. Christopher missed the area just where the left sleeve of his t-shirt rested (and blew up in the breeze). So we've both been peeling, but only a little. Which is pretty amazing for two guys who don't tan.

I've declared myself adjusted to my new glasses and sunglasses. I've even gotten used to swapping out the glasses in the case with the ones on my face while walking. (It's not as easy as it sounds, trust me.)

The wounds on my feet from the sandals I bought just before going on vacation are mostly healed. I don't know what possessed me to buy the sandals and not wear them and break them in before I went. Unfortunately, the first day out one of the "pads" that keep the straps from shaving off skin rolled under and... well... the strap did the whole "shaving off the skin" thing. By the end of that day I had gone to Walgreen's for a box of Band-aids - which was about half empty by the time we came home.

I haven't stepped on a scale since we got back. Although we walked all over the place, we also ate some amazing meals. And, since sweating only takes care of fluid, I'm sure I probably gained some weight. I plan to ignore that, for now.

The one thing I can't really ignore is how tired I've felt the past couple of days. I had a lot of energy on Saturday and Sunday after we got back, but it faded fast. Kinda like the plot of this post.

Back to Reality Melancholy

Yep. In case you didn't guess it, Christopher and I were out of town last week for vacation in the Florida Keys. I'll talk more about that in the next few days, but since I'm sitting here kind of dreading the return to reality tomorrow morning, I figured I'd focus on that right now.

Here's the thing: Vacation was great. We ate some amazing meals. We saw some very cool sights. We were - let's face it - away from normal life for seven full days. And that was good.

Unfortunately, this means that tonight the "it's Sunday night and I have to prepare myself for the week ahead" feeling seems an extra seven times stronger than usual.

I've been trying to figure out which stories to tell my co-workers about my trip. And trying to figure out if I should pack lunch tomorrow or not. And, just for fun, also trying to guess whether I'll have the energy to be social at all, or if I should just log in, do my work, and come home without talking to anyone.

Hmm... I wonder if anyone would notice if I took the book I almost finished while in Florida and just read it all day, instead of doing work...? I'm guessing the fact that it's hardbound and not something to read on my screen, that might be a problem.

Oh, well. Reality has to set in at some point. Might as well get it over with on a Monday, right?

Friday Food - Who Would Eat That?

I often wonder who was the first to try to eat something.

A friend of mine was recently asking about Escargot, and I was happy to tell her that - although they're a little chewy - they're usually buttery and garlicky and really tasty. But, really, who in the world was the first person to see a snail and think "I bet that's good eating"?

I feel that way about a lot of food. Not that the way things looked before being cooked typically makes me not eat them. But I always want to know who took the first bite, thought "Okay, I'm not dead, so I guess it was good" and then decided to serve it for dinner.

Think about it. I mean, some fruits and vegetables are pretty obvious, but not all of them.

An Apple looks like it is there for the picking. So does an Orange. But if the person who was used to biting through the apple skin tried to bite into the orange. That probably would have turned me off oranges at the outset.

And who decided that juicing the orange would be a good idea? Who decided that little tiny Key Limes should be made into desserts that require the average person to juice a gross of them just to get a pie?

Who first decided to try an Artichoke? Or dug up a Potato and thought "It looks like a dirty rock, let's eat it"? Who looked at Milk that had gone bad and thought "I bet that would become Cheese and it will go great on Pizza"?

I've read that Conch is a delicacy, but who saw all the little legs sticking out of a spiky shell and thought "I bet there's a meaty body in there that would go great in a fritter"?

I guess it's a good thing that I'm not living a few thousand years back (or planning to be dropped on a deserted island - or in many reality TV shows - any time soon), because I don't think I'm adventurous enough to have gone first in a lot of these situations.

But after the first taster doesn't die, the curds and whey are separated, and the fritters are fried, then feel free to call me for dinner.

Wiki Wednesday

Sometimes I really wonder what people would think if they saw what I did online searches for while at work.

I'm not talking about the random things that I find online via my email or whatever, but the things which are truly job-related.

In the past few months, I've worked on manuscripts involving heaven, Nazi Germany, and "creative sexuality." I've also done work on a book about 1960s tennis and one on growing up in Brentwood (CA) in the late 50s.

Where I work, none of this is really looked at as all that strange. It's expected that I'll be searching Wikipedia or Google or anywhere I can find to verify the info in these books. The only thing that would really bother anyone is if my searches were crashing our internet connection - which is not going to happen. I mean... heck... a woman who used to work here would spend most of her day with one monitor on "work" while the other was taken up by streaming videos. So you know that the fairly small bandwith of information I'm downloading is not even noticeable in the grand scheme of things.

On the other hand, you hear the stories about how most search engines are tracking where its users go (and - for once - openly doing so). They say this is for the sake of research, so they can send the "right" ads to their users.

And, sure, sometimes when I'm searching on Google the answer I'm looking for pops up before everything else. Which is cool.

At the same time, though, I'm not sure I really want ads based on my supposed fascination with German military ranks, 1960s women's tennis undergarments, sexuality, and St. Peter.

Hmm... On second thought, it might be kind of interesting for the internet folks to try.