Look! Up in the sky! It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's...

Who came up with the name "Supermoon"?

We've got clouds tonight, so there's no visible moon, super or otherwise.

I have no way to see whether or not it is wearing a cape.

I don't know if the Man in the Supermoon has an "S" on his chest tonight.

I'm not sure if the snowbanks are going to have a higher tide than usual, if the banks of Lake Superior will be rocked by waves, or if water left in the sink tonight will develop tidal pulls.

I do know that, last night, I had technicolor dream after technicolor dream (and you were there, and you were there, and you were there...) and woke up tired. (In case you're wondering, I was in New York City for one of the dreams, travelling across Central Park, meeting a friend's new baby, standing in a square in front of a metal-wrapped building with the call letters of a local Minneapolis TV station... and then that one started to get weird...)

I know that a lot of people do find that the world - and hospital emergency rooms and police forces - get a little stranger on regular full moons, but I haven't heard anything - yet - about how the Supermoon might alter that.

And I know that the moon is supposed to appear 14% larger tonight than... well... no one seems to say what it's 14% larger than. Is it appearing 14% larger than it was on the last full moon? For those who can see it, as we're looking at it at its apogee, is it simply 14% larger than it looks when it's at its perigee (I love some science words)? Does this take into account that it looks HUGE every night when it comes up at the horizon, but looks smaller as it moves higher in the sky?

Does this mean that Superman is actually only 14% stronger or faster or more able to leap tall buildings than the average person?

Is Super-duper simply 14% better than duper?

And how do you measure 14% of "califragilisticexpialidocious" so that you can add it on to make it super? (Think about it. You'll get it in a moment.)

I do know that tomorrow is the start of spring (which, in Minnesota, means 50 degrees and rain tomorrow, but 30 degrees and snow on Wednesday). Tomorrow is also the start of the Astrological new year. And - assuming the world survives - the day after the Supermoon.

So... Happy New Year. Happy Spring. And don't forget to...

Look! Up in the sky! It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's... Supermoon!