Valentine's Day Love Songs

Since much of my life is wrapped up in songs, I was trying to think of a love song that really epitomizes my thoughts on Valentine's Day, as well as my relationship.

There are a ton of love songs - that actually might make sense - in musical theater, but those aren't the ones that show up all over the place this time of year. Instead, we get all of the weird country and pop songs (well, those are the only two genres that I listen to, so that's all I have to go from) that profess to tell us about love.

We go from "Stand By Your Man" to "Stand By Me," and from "Muskrat Love" to "Puppy Love." There's "Burning Love" and there's "My Heart Will Go On" from the very watery Titanic.

We've got "Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong" which, on the surface, sounds nice. But then there's the musical assumption that where we belong is "where the eagles cry on a a mountain high" - which sets up an expectation that most couples may never reach. Because, let's face it, many romances only make it about halfway up a hillock before getting run off by a couple of screeching crows.

We're told "Love is a Many-Splendoured Thing" and that "Love Makes the World Go 'Round" and that "All You Need is Love" - although I'd like to see someone try to pay their bills with it.

We know that some people "Can't Give You Anything But Love" (which is nice, but, again, how does that pay rent?), and that "The Greatest Love of All" is learning to love ourselves - which really doesn't sound like a very romantic notion, after all.

With all of the love songs out there, I was starting to get a little frustrated. They all look at love and life through seriously rose-colored glasses. It's Edith Piaf seeing "La Vie en Rose" and it's the wedding at the end of a Disney movie where you don't see the newlyweds dealing with who gets the closet space and who has to wash dishes.

In musical theater, you get a lot of that, too, but you also get "Into the Woods," where the happy "ending" is just the beginning of the second act. Which, really, is a lot more like life.

It dawned on me amidst all of my digging, that I knew exactly what song was my perfect Valentine's Day song. Partially, I'll admit, because Christopher is gone this week and one line of it always comes to mind when we're apart. The line is "And even be glad, just to be sad, thinking of you."

The song is "It Had to Be You," and although it's been around for a while, I know it mainly from the Harry Connick, Jr. version which was used in When Harry Met Sally. I love that it talks about this great love that is made better because they're not perfect: "Nobody else gave me a thrill, with all your faults, I love you still. It had to be you, wonderful you. It had to be you." The person in question is wonderful because of the faults, not in spite of them. And I like to think that all good, realistic, romances can embrace that.

You can find the video of it, here - where it plays after a 15-second ad. (And you really ought to check it out. It's an "official" video, so it's got clips of the movie, as well as a very young - and very 80s-styled, yet still sexy - Harry Connick, Jr.)

That's the kind of love song that works for me. The kind that says "it's not perfect. it's not a fairy tale. it's life. and I want you in it with me."

(Happy Valentine's Day, Christopher!)