An Entertaining Dilemma

Sorry. That's not meant as "funny," it's meant as a dilemma one has when entertaining guests.

Let's start with part one: You and a co-host decide to have a very small gathering of friends over for, say, Groundhog Day. You both sit down with your lists of friends and go through it and pare down whom to invite. This is either done as an "additive" process or a "subtractive" one, depending on how you think about it. For our case, let's say it was done in the "additive" sense. 

So the two of you start by inviting the people who first pop into your mind. You make your lists of those people, and see how many you end up with. Say you're hoping to have about 15 people in attendance, so you start with your initial list of 5 or 6 people and then begin adding in until you get to 15 or 20 (figuring that a few people will have to decline, since so many people have plans around Groundhog Day). You do your best to choose people who will mix well with the initial 5 or 6, and you keep adding in. Although you have to make some hard choices, eventually, the two of you get your combined list to around 18 people, after adding and moving people around. 

So you have your Groundhog Day party, and it's a very nice turnout. Of course, it's the beginning of February, so the weather may have kept some people away. Even so, you get between 15 and 20 people--just what you wanted. You all enjoy a nice evening of Groundhog Day favorites, and you don't even end up with a ton of dishes at the end of the night. All good, right?

Still with me? Okay, we've made it through part one... Now, on to part two:

A few days later, you find yourself at a friend's Groundhog Day party. Unfortunately, this friend wasn't on the list of people you invited to your party, because you seldom see her and although you like her and her boyfriend, you can't imagine that they would have wanted to come. After all you really only see each other at parties thrown by mutual friends. In other words, you're simply "friends-in-law"--and as with most in-laws, you just don't hang out together on your own.

So, there you are at your friend-in-law's party, and she's very happy to see you. She and her boyfriend have welcomed you with hugs and are making sure you're taken care of and comfortable. You've brought a hostess gift, and it was well-received. 

It's going very well, and you're having a nice time, when suddenly someone who WAS at your Groundhog Day party makes a comment about said party. Of course, this was an off-hand remark, so you hope against hope that possibly your host (who wasn't invited) didn't hear the question. But, alas, she perks up and says "When was that?" And your former guest turns and says "At the Groundhog Day party they threw last weekend." This, of course, is answered by silence... and a strangely palpable combo of feelings of querulousness and odd Groundhog Day guilt. Luckily, this is eventually followed by hostly offerings of more wine and cake. 

Ah... The dilemma of entertaining around Groundhog Day. Isn't it fun?