Making Smalltalk

I am not, by nature, an overly extroverted person. Gregarious, yes. Extroverted, no. Which, considering I love to entertain and have people over for dinners and brunches and the like, may seem a bit strange. It gets even stranger when you know that - as part of various jobs I've had - I've had to play host to large groups of people, complete with the whole mixing and mingling thing.

I do fairly well in small groups, and I have absolutely no problem getting up in front of a room filled with people and speaking. But drop me into a room of people I don't know who are all chatting in small groups, and you'll probably find me looking at the artwork on the walls instead of trying to break into a group to chat.

I tell you all of this because I had two related - though totally different - happenings today.

The first was more of a realization than a happening. The office I work in is in an old warehouse, on a floor with four other offices of various sizes - and a yoga studio. Our office is at the end of a rather long corridor, and pretty much every time I walk down the hallway there is someone else walking toward me. And it's a broad spectrum of humanity that I pass.

There's the tragically hip folks from the office at the other end of the hall. There's the people in shorts carrying yoga mats. There's the semi-business-professional looking people from directly across the hall from us. And there seem to be a higher-than-normal number of delivery people. But, here's the thing: Aside from the delivery guys (most of them are guys), no one looks you in the eye or acknowledges you as you approach each other in mid-hallway.

Now, I'm not looking to strike up a philosophical discussion in the hallway, but eye contact and "the nod" might be nice. Maybe a smile. Maybe even "hello."

I walked past someone today who actively looked down at her feet when she noticed that she was about to make eye contact with me. And a guy I've met multiple times (who says hello in the stairwell) simply puts his head down and walks past in the hallway. What's up with that?

My second odd social situation today came during one of the "meetings" (actually a social gathering potluck) of one of my networking groups this evening. It's been a while since I've made it to one of these, but this was being held in a small museum and the draw of being able to wander around a museum after hours was too strong for me to turn down. I arrived. I placed my food on the table (really - it's a potluck). I wandered off to check out the museum.

When I got back into the main room, people were mingling and chatting, mostly standing in the small groups of people they had come with. I spied a couple of people I knew and worked my way into their circle to chat. When people split off for more food or drink, I re-circled the food table, then found another group to edge into. We made smalltalk for a bit, then people started wandering off to peruse the museum, to get more food, or just to wander off.

Left alone, I took another quick pass along the food table (it's easy to make smalltalk over food), and then started checking out the books in the museum's collection. Having pondered where they all came from, and realizing that I probably should not touch them with my not-overly-clean post-eating hands, I took another look at the room. The people I knew were in tight conversations. And the door was only a few feet away. I left.

The morals of the stories: If you want to hang out with me, invite me to dinner - or invite yourself to dinner at our place. And, if you pass me in the hallway (or online :-) , please say "hi."