Please Tell Me You Knew This

I have been completely amazed by a few product warnings, lately, and I wanted to share them with you. I swear I am not making these up. I could never make these up. Well... I could... But they probably wouldn't be as funny.

1) On the side of my Men's Multivitamins: Do not take if you are pregnant. (Wow. I wonder how many men have to worry about that?)

2) On the ingredients listing of my frozen Shrimp Fried Rice package: Caution contains shellfish (shrimp). (Granted the meal was only a buck, so I guess it wasn't a guarantee that there would be shrimp in it. Maybe this was more of a promise than a threat?)

And my favorite... This was in a bakery on Friday...

3) On the label of a chopped-peanut-covered "Nutty John" frosted long-john "donut": Contains nuts. (I'm happy to say that the Apple Fritter also contained Apple.)

Okay, yes, I know that last week there was a day when I was walking past the iron I had used the night before and -- to check whether it was hot -- I put my hand almost directly on the possibly-hot plate. I knew I hadn't used it in about 24 hours, so it should be cool. It was still stupid of me to touch the plate, but if I had burned my hand on the hot iron, it would have been my own danged fault.

But, you knew that, right?