Hmmm... You don't think the headline gives away too much of my feeling about the movie I saw last week, do you? (Yeah. If that line bothers you, you're really not going to want to read the rest of this review.)
Yes. That's right. Christopher and I finally gave in and went to see Avatar in the movie theater last Friday night. It was one of those "we really ought to see it on the big screen in 3-D, just to see what all the fuss is about" decisions. And, so, we found ourselves wedged into the middle of a theater full of people, having paid our $13 per person (about 50% more than a 2-D movie) for the privilege of those glasses that pinch just behind the ears.
By the way... I'm not sure what all of the other people were doing there. I kept getting the feeling that everyone else in the world had already seen the movie, and that we would probably be alone. But, no, it was pretty packed. And... wow... I can't imagine seeing it more than once. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
If you've been living under a rock for the past 6 months or so, here's the basic breakdown of the movie: Humans are headed out into space to a planet called Pandora (hmm... I can't imagine what that might mean), partially to peacefully colonize and integrate with the indigenous inhabitants, and partially to rapaciously mine for a new element called -- get this -- unobtanium. (Go ahead. Pronounce it out.)
So... You've got peaceful and well-meaning scientists who want to learn about the planet, but they can't go out into the atmosphere, so they grow these half-human, half-Pandoran "avatars" which they can use to travel the planet. (It's a very basic sci-fi premise, where your consciousness goes into the other creature, while you're really safe and warm in your sleep pod thing.) And, while the scientists are doing that, you've also got the big mean uncaring corporation -- working with the gun-happy military -- to get to the unobtanium. Of course, our hero is a military man with a heart of gold, who just happens to integrate into the indigenous society and find a love interest. Gee. Where could this all be going?
Alright. Enough bashing of the plot. After all, there's so little of it that those two paragraphs are probably longer than the entire movie synopsis that was originally pitched. Instead, let's discuss the whole 3-D-ness of it.
Is it the traditional "throw stuff at the camera"-style 3-D? Definitely not (well... Mostly definitely not). Is it kind of cool at times when stuff is floating through the air? Yes. Do you often get the feeling of being "right there" in the thick of it all? I gotta say yes. Is it the be-all and end-all that I keep hearing people talk about? Let's just say that I think I may have seen a different movie than some of those folks.
Although, I am happy to say that I did NOT get motion-sick during the movie, which often happens to me in 3-D movies.
Okay. Let's add it up, since I already lost 2.5 hours of my life to this movie and don't want to lose much more. On the plus side: Pretty colors. Interestingly-imagined flora and fauna. A plot you really don't have to think about. On the minus side: A plot you really don't have to think about. (At all.) Total over-use of CGI even when it didn't need to be used. A complete disregard for their own science (someone should have mentioned to them that if you can't breathe the air, then you shouldn't be alive if you go somewhere that isn't protected - even if you are the bad guy). And -- oh, yeah -- a storyline that basically beat you over the head with its moral message of "good people are good, bad people are bad" for 2.25 of the 2.5 hours that you were there.
Overall rating: D+. Some of the 3-D was kind of cool. I just wish it hadn't all been wasted in a James Cameron movie.
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